Floorface
Floorface is a condition, usually brought on by a combination of hard alcohol and cigars ingested quickly on an empty stomach, that causes the sufferer's face to become seemingly one with the floor. This condition is not fatal but can cause rug burns and a related condition known as "sharpieface" (usually only occurs when in close proximity to assholes).
"Where is Kevin?"
"Saw him upstairs loving on the berber next to a half empty bottle of Woodford Reserve...serious case of floorface."
"Saw him upstairs loving on the berber next to a half empty bottle of Woodford Reserve...serious case of floorface."