floral asshat
A person whom you have had a deep, intimate relationship with, yet decided to rip your heart out at the wrong place and wrong time. Usually the person you had the most enjoyable relationship with and the worst breakup."
John: She really broke my heart, it just came out of nowhere.
Sam: She must be a real floral asshat.
John: I guess she is.
Sam: She must be a real floral asshat.
John: I guess she is.