French Umbrella
When a man is making love to a French woman, who is particularly hairy. He takes a mini fold-up umbrella and shoves it into her vagina, then as she is orgasming you open up the umbrella in her vagina, causing incredible pain to the woman. Then, you throw a glass bottle at her, knocking her out.
Last night, she wouldn't shut up, so I gave her a good ol' French Umbrella