A Mueller Report
A legally binding federal document that can be altered to fit however you feel on a particular day. Usually A Mueller Report says one thing, then a second document is released on a later date that is changed or altered to say whatever the author chooses. A Mueller Report is often confusing, contradictory, and is hard to believe it is taken seriously, but it is.
"Donald, our company stands to lose millions" Let's file A Mueller Report to the shareholders, and after the dust settles, we'll change it to keep the dummies happy. "