anacondor
The anacondor is widely considered to be the deadliest, most muthafuckin' badass animal in the world. It can kill you by thinking about it. In fact, you've probably been dead for a week, and didn't even know about it. The anacondor is a mixture of the most badass parts of the jungle-dwelling anaconda, and the ugly (but still awesome) condor. It can scratch your eyes out with its talons, or poison and strangle you with its long snake-like neck. Pwned!
Snakes on a plane? Who needs them to be on the plane when the anacondor can just fly up and own Samuel L. Jackson's shit. Daaaaaaamn, boy!