Garden Glove
Garden glove (noun) - the dirty, crusty sock under ffxiv player-Iris Xi's bed, used to fap only when succumbing to the darkness of the edgelord. Also known as the pity fap.
I was a healer in feast and I tried to zip zop but my zoobity didn't bop... Time to bust out the ol' garden glove and have me a pity fap.