gelatinous emu
When you take a shit that is so long that after it hits the bottom of the toilet, it remains verticaly erect as you keep crapping. After a while your crap starts to warp. Ocassionally, if you are not lucky, the warp in the crap will happen right at the asshole, thus smearing crap all over your ass.
Dude, I had a gelatinous emu that made me wipe for an extra 5 minutes. I missed the end of Jesus Christ Superstar, the musical.