goon wank
A bloody wanker of course! Who also has goon-like qualities. See goonler, goonition, and goondued.
Greg: Wow this wanker has got to be up to something odd... He always pwns life, gets the ladies, and gets all the gym rats wanting to touch his privates.
Henry: Sir, thats a goon wank for ya!
Henry: Sir, thats a goon wank for ya!