Granola Joe

GRANOLA JOE IS YOUR DOOM. GRANOLA JOE IS THE VANISHING POINT OF ALL DESTINY, THE EVENT HORIZON BEYOND WHICH ALL IS DARKNESS AND VOID. GRANOLA JOE WILL COME BEARING GIFTS. GRANOLA JOE WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU LOOK REALLY COOL IN THAT SHIRT. GRANOLA JOE WILL OFFER TO HELP YOU PUT TOGETHER YOUR IKEA FURNITURE AND THEN ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH. GRANOLA JOE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND VALUED. GRANOLA JOE WILL INCREASE THE STANDARD OF LIVING OF ALL HUMAN BEINGS THAT ARE TOUCHED BY ITS SEETHING, HUNGRY SHADOW. GRANOLA JOE WILL DECEIVE YOU. GRANOLA JOE WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR. GRANOLA JOE WILL DEMAND THINGS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. GRANOLA JOE WILL SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF POWER. GRANOLA JOE WILL SUBSUME YOU. GRANOLA JOE WILL LOVE YOU IN A WAY YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO COMPREHEND. GRANOLA JOE, UNCONQUERED, UNYIELDING, GRANOLA JOE, UNCEASING, DEVOURING, GRANOLA JOE, ASCENDANT, ALL-DESIRING, GRANOLA JOE. GRANOLA JOE. GRANOLA JOE. GRANOLA JOE.