Guitared

Masturbating. Often to pictures of Gareth Bale.

a musical magical instrument played like gods but ruined by douchebags

Derived from ancient string instruments such as the Oud, dating back in pictorial history as far as 5000 years ago.
The Oud was the predecesor to the western Lute, which was the predecessor to the Classical guitar which came into popularity during the Renaissance and Baroque periods.
Further ancestry can be linked to the Sitar and instruments related to the Zither family with actual instruments found in tombs dating back to approx. 500BC.
In Modern versions, the first electric pickup was designed by George D. Beauchamp, a Hawaiian style guitarist in the 1920's. In 1929 he filed patent for the Dobro and in 1934, the first electric lap steel guitar became known as the Rickenbacker 'frying pan'. In 1936 he filed patent for the first electric called the 'Spanish Electro guitar'. In the late 40's Leo Fender sought to design an electric guitar that would be the 'volkswagon' of the guitar industry, the Esquire, which became Broadcaster and then quickly changed to the Telecaster due to possible name copyright infringement with Gretschs' 'Broadkaster'.
By 1950, the first production solidbody electric guitars were in full swing from the Fender factory. The electric guitar was on its way into making history.

1. An stringed instrument consisting of 6, 7, or 12 strings (most commonly these, though there are rarer variations) derived from the lute. The guitar is traditionally tuned in perfect fourths, excluding the B to G string interval, which is a major third. Guitars are amplified either through resonance of a hollow or semi-hollow body (which, contrary to popular belief, does not require a soundhole) or the use of magnetic pickups which in turn send an electronic signal to a guitar amplifier. Guitar is found in almost every style of modern music imaginable, and some older European world music as well. Guitar has common applications in jazz, rock, blues, metal, classical, ska, punk, alternative, pop, reggae, funk, and countless other musical (and in some cases, nonmusical) stylings.

2. An instrument which can either be used for good or evil.

Good-In the hands of one pure of heart, the guitar becomes a living, breathing, extension of himself. Through countless hours of practice, studying one's theory, and tapping into his or her own musical center, the guitarist becomes adept at playing and can inspire any emotion in a listener with a single lick.

Evil-In the hands of a corrupt heart, the guitar is a terrible thing to behold. Though it is an unfortunate thing, guitar is mostly used for evil nowadays. An evil guitarist will usually not take time to learn to play, and will use the guitar mainly to try and get girls to like him or play senseless excuses for music with 2 power chords to further propogate the evil music movements we have now.

A device, when used in combination with an amplifier, which can be used to scare off neighbours.

1. A six-string instrument. The strings are commonly made of nylon or metal. It consists of a body, a neck, and a headstock. The strings are depressed behind frets to produce pitch. Sound is commonly amplified with either a soundhole in a hollow-body or a pickup and electronic amplifier. It uses the standard 12-tone equal-tempered musical system. It covers approximately five octaves and is commonly tuned in fourths, except for between the 2nd and 3rd strings, which are tuned in a third. Commonly used as both a backing and a lead instrument in almost every style of modern music.

2. An istrument, which many pick up, but rarely learn to play properly. Most people who play guitar do not know musical theory, which is needed to properly harmonize chords and melodies and create diverse musical patterns, which is needed to produce music that is pleasing to the ear.

a chick magnet for either sex.