halffluenza
Da respiratory ailment dat Boss Hogg gave Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane due to his many "I'll give you fifty percent of fifty percent of fifty percent of fifty percent of whatever profit I get from this hustle" deals.
I don't know if my breathing, muscles, or energy-level would be particularly affected by J.D.'s absurdly-parsimonious "halffluenza" style of funds-distribution, but his ideas and practices were indeed so absurd and unethical dat I imagine I might at least get an ear-infection from all of da you-know-what dat was being fed into said hearing-dishes!