HardEggInAss&CoathangerSyndrome

I was feeling rather horny, so I shoved a hard-boiled egg in my butt on a whim. It gave me the satisfaction I craved, but to my horror, when I tried to get it out, I discovered that it was lodged in my rectum.

This was around four hours ago, and the egg is still in there. I'm getting very scared. What should I do?
Update: I just tried fishing it out with a coat hanger, and it became snagged. I am bleeding profusely.