Antenucci

The most regarded Italian surname you could ever have. Nothing could be better than being born into this clan. Being an Antenucci means you are the object of envy.
The men are handsome, witty & athletic. Though on the thin side, their appetites rival that of a fat Italian. They are keen on playing pranks & have a wicked sense of humor. They also find great amusement in fat people falling, preferably face-first. Antenucci men are esteemed, they have nicknames like "The General" or "King of the World". Oh, & Antenucci men are ALWAYS right. All the time. In the history of the world, no Antenucci man has ever been wrong about anything.
Antenucci women are also good looking, whether they are born into this clan or are lucky enough to marry an Antenucci man. They are smart, but not as smart as the men of the family. They are funny, but not as funny as the men. (See the pattern, folks?) They are known for their kindness & compassion, & their tasteful, somewhat prudish sense of style. Antenucci women are also known for being fabulous cooks... Although they occasionally insist on ruining a perfectly good gravy with organic veggies and low-fat meats, ugh. Stick to the recipe ladies!

Last but not least: Antenucci men love the women of their clan above and beyond life itself. To hurt or harass an Antenucci woman will almost certainly result in the ass kicking of a life time. Sometimes, the mere threat of this ass kicking is enough to make another grown man practically crap his pants.