Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu

Commonly mistaken for a good basketball player, Hedo Turkoglu is a 6"10, unathletic sloth who gets paid $10 000 000/year (US) by the Toronto Raptors to dribble around the top of the key, take contested 3 pointers early in the shot-clock, and clumsily drive the to basket while utilizing his 11 inch vertical to pass the ball to the perimeter.

Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.