Helpyabutt
'Helpyabutt' is when you are in dire need of some form of assistance and all your friends want to offer is excuses. Especially applicable when you know for a fact they could help you, and just can't be bothered.
'I'd helpyabutt, but I have to shampoo my cat that day.'
'I know you need some cash and I'd helpyabutt it means I can only buy four Starbucks instead of just three today.'
'I know you need some cash and I'd helpyabutt it means I can only buy four Starbucks instead of just three today.'