Hoagie Guy

The Hoagie Guy was a frequent attendee at the various Racket Ball Clubs in the Lehigh Valley, Pa. during the mid to late '90's (although he could still be attending to this day). These fitness clubs were open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He could be found there at various hours and quite possibly multiple clubs a day, although he seemed to make an effort to be there during the prime hours. The Hoagie Guy acquired his moniker because he always wore a t-shirt advertising a sub shop.

The Hoagie Guy would rarely do anything beyond a leisure stroll on the treadmill or short stint on an exercise bike. What made him notorious were his shower room antics.

The men's shower lacked privacy and was simply a large room with nozzles in the wall spaced a few feet apart. The Hoagie Guy would take the nozzle opposite the entrance, step out a few feet from the shower, and while facing the entrance shave his genitals in full view of everyone. His preferred method involved pulling his penis up high and shaving down around his balls. You could not miss this sight entering the shower and you had to avoid the stream of pubic hair speckled shaving cream snaking its way to the drains in the middle of the room. This spectacle, of course, irritated the meatheads to no end who threatened him every time demanding he "Shave his nuts at home" or they would kick his ass. The Hoagie Guy would complete his shower with a dip in the jacuzzi. Needless to say those who saw this never used the jacuzzi.