Hot German Potato Salad
A man lies naked and spread eagled on a picnic blanket. A picnic basket with a hole cut out of the bottom is placed over his face. This should be a snug fit. His partner then proceeds to lift the lid and crap into the basket over his face, while throwing uncooked bacon at his erection, strip by strip.
Melissa planned a romantic, indoor picnic for our anniversary. I was even more surprised when she offered me a Hot German Potato Salad. Now I get all hot when I see bacon!