Hurt Bagel
A hurt bagel is an adjective used for a person who is violently high. Usually when a person consumes high amounts of THC they may experience symptoms such as couch lock, spacing out, an inability to form coherent sentences etc. Such symptoms indicate that the victim of THC's wrath has become a hurt bagel.
Steve: "Yo look at John over there, he's so blasted! He hasn't said a word in the past hour and he's been staring at that lamp for at least thirty minutes!"
Mark: "Yeah dude he's way too ripped. He's just a hurt bagel right now."
Mark: "Yeah dude he's way too ripped. He's just a hurt bagel right now."