Appleocalist
Someone who obsessivley talks to apples and has a conversation lasting at least 3.18 minutes (why 3.18? because when added up it equals 12) Appleocalists are a spinoff of the discrete religion Applelocalism lasting 32 minutes (why 32? because eerrm YEAH!) In Deal Kent in the UK.
"Dood, Did yuu know Barry was a... You know."
"What? You mean an Appleocalist?"
"Yeah"
"Yeah"
"oh"
"What? You mean an Appleocalist?"
"Yeah"
"Yeah"
"oh"