if statement

An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use.

DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability>

if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if

function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}

function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}

Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then

do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else

do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if

statement

someone wishing to stand out by voicing their own opinions. the fact i'm voicing my opinion on this is irrelevant. also attention whoring in the way they dress etc

hey, you hip emo crowd...stop being such a statement. 'cause your not...
people include : anyone with a livewhorenal account, or anyo9ne who is dumb enough to stand up for what they believe in.

statementize

want to take a statement from

Ms. Gonzalez, they want to statementize your witness, please give Ms. Singh the witness' phone number.

Statementing

When someone strings multiple proclamations together, redundant or independent, when speaking.

Bernadette responded to mom’s lecture with, “Are you almost done statementing?”

statementation

a word describing a statement or one who constantly makes them

Person One: Fish are friends, not food.
Person Two: STOP IT WITH YOUR STATEMENTATION!

Barnum Statement

A Barnum Statement is a phrase used by conmen (for example a psychic) to try and make people think they have some deep insight into their psychology or life.
They are also commonly used in horoscopes

Barnum Statements are statements which most people will agree with, regarding themselves, while not realizing that almost every other person will also agree with them regarding their own lives

examples are:
"you have a good sense of humor, but not everyone sees it"
"you tend to think about things before taking action"
"You have had some major challenges in your life"
"you recently had a disagreement with someone you care for"

"The psychic told me that I was quite intelligent, but other people dont always see it"
"Sounds like she was just feeding you a Barnum Statement"

Mission Statement

The vague and unobtainable goals of a company or organization used by management to explain what the company or organization and they themselves do.

After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.

俚语	if statement
释义	if statement An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use. DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person> DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability> if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then do send-to-gas-chamber else do commit-suicide end if function send-to-gas-chamber{ do grab $person_you_hate then shove $person_you_hate then close door then turn knob watch gas kill $person_you_hate return happy()} function commit-suicide{ do grab $person_you_hate then humiliate $person_you_hate then hand $person_you_hate noose then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table watch $person_you_hate die return happy()} Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character If statement = stupid then do kill-yourself-for-reading-this else do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun end if statement someone wishing to stand out by voicing their own opinions. the fact i'm voicing my opinion on this is irrelevant. also attention whoring in the way they dress etc hey, you hip emo crowd...stop being such a statement. 'cause your not... people include : anyone with a livewhorenal account, or anyo9ne who is dumb enough to stand up for what they believe in. statementize want to take a statement from Ms. Gonzalez, they want to statementize your witness, please give Ms. Singh the witness' phone number. Statementing When someone strings multiple proclamations together, redundant or independent, when speaking. Bernadette responded to mom’s lecture with, “Are you almost done statementing?” statementation a word describing a statement or one who constantly makes them Person One: Fish are friends, not food. Person Two: STOP IT WITH YOUR STATEMENTATION! Barnum Statement A Barnum Statement is a phrase used by conmen (for example a psychic) to try and make people think they have some deep insight into their psychology or life. They are also commonly used in horoscopes Barnum Statements are statements which most people will agree with, regarding themselves, while not realizing that almost every other person will also agree with them regarding their own lives examples are: "you have a good sense of humor, but not everyone sees it" "you tend to think about things before taking action" "You have had some major challenges in your life" "you recently had a disagreement with someone you care for" "The psychic told me that I was quite intelligent, but other people dont always see it" "Sounds like she was just feeding you a Barnum Statement" Mission Statement The vague and unobtainable goals of a company or organization used by management to explain what the company or organization and they themselves do. After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.
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