Iranian Cluster Fuck

A sexual indulgence not at all involving the Iranian people or its beliefs. The act entails dousing oneself in plutonium and masturbatory fluids while religiously praising the glory of our Dear Leader, Kim Jong-un. Afterwards, the individual must sneak through the Chinese border--Seppuku must take place if the individual in question is already within the nation of China--and continue to obtain nuclear launch codes on which he/she will smuggle into Iran via the anus so that a large group of security guards will have to manually retrieve the said object with their hands. This is done solely for the pleasure of the individual.