Iraq War

Crusades: Expansion Pack.

An unjustified war with changing motives. It was brought up by years of lies.

- 9/11 occurs. United States in disarray-
Americans: "This is so horrible, who could have done such a thing! Somebody figure out who did it!"
Bush: "It was TERRORISTS!"
Americans: -wiping manly tears from eyes- "...Terrorists?"
Bush: "That's right! Terrorists! Al-Qaeda to be exact. They're in Afghanistan."
Americans: "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get them!"
Bush: "We won't fight terrorism in Afghanistan alone, we'll fight them all over the world!"
Americans: "FUCK YEAR!" -Presidential ratings skyrocket-
Bush & Cheney: -snicker- Fucking morons.
Britain: "America, we'd love to company you in your crusade against terrorists in Afghanistan."
Britians: "Well, all right, I suppose that sounds like a good idea. I do dislike terrorists."
Bush & Cheney: -whispering to each other- "Now's our chance..." -approaches Britain with confidence- "So, Tony, in our crusade against terrorism, it's come to our attention that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction: AKA WMDs.
Blair: "Really? What are your sources?"
Cheney: "...Wikipedia."
Blair: "Well, I suppose that makes sense."
Bush: "So can we invade?"
Blair: "Don't you think we should check it out first, you know, just to make sure?"
Cheney: "But we KNOW they have WMDs, can't we just invade, pleeaaaaaseeee?"
Blair: "That doesnt seem very logical to me."
-Spock steps in- Spock: Not logical indeed.
Cheney: "FINE. Send the UN in and see what we can find."
-UN knocks on Iraq's door- "Hi! Hi! Hi!"
Hussein: -just waking up, snorting- "Huh. Wha...? Who is it?"
UN: "It's the United Nations. Mind if we poke around?"
Hussein: "Go away."
UN: "Pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"
Hussein: "No. Go away." -goes back to sleep-
UN: "Fine, we'll just pester you until let us in." -knock knock knock-
-Five hours later-
Hussein: "FINE JESUS LOOK AROUND! FUCK!" -opens door-
UN: -walks in- "Thanks! We'll just poke around for a while."
Hussein: -snorts, rubs eyes- "Fine."
-They do that-
UN: "Well, it looks like we haven't found anything. Thanks for letting us in!" -walks out-
Hussein: "Whatever." -shuts door-
-UN returns to Bush, Cheney and Blair- UN: "Welp, we haven't found anything."
Cheney: "What? FUCK!"
Bush: "Well, this puts a damper on my day."
Blair: "See? Told ya. We narrowly avoided disaster."
-Bush and Cheney look at each other, they put on sunglasses and Cheney pulls out that memory eraser thing from "Men in Black" and flashes it into Tony Blair's eyes- Cheney: "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."
-Blair, hypnotized and repeating- Blair: "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."
Bush: "Al-Qaeda is operating in Iraq."
Blair: "Al-Qaeda is operating in Iraq."
Cheney: -takes off sunglasses- "Good, now tell everyone that you're helping us invade Iraq."
Blair: "Mmkay." -walks off-
Bush: -taking off sunglasses- "Sucker."
Blair: -walks outside- "Hey ho, citizens of Britain. We're going to accompany America's quest to invade Iraq."
Britians: -Dancing, drinking and singing all comes to an abrupt stop- "....Wha?"
Blair: "Yep, we're invading Iraq. We're all having a meeting with a whole bunch of other countries."
Britians: "But that doesn't make any sense!"
Bush: -across the room, points at Iraq- "Iraq!"
Hussein: -wakes up, one eyeball open, one half shut, snorts, yawns, looks around- "Huh?"
Bush: "You!"
Hussein: "Me?"
Bush: "Yeah, you!"
Hussein: -looks at watch- "What? I'm killing kids in a few hours, I need to have my beauty sleep."
Cheney: "You got weapons of mass destruction!"
Hussein: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Bush: "You're building nuclear bombs and stuff!"
Hussein: "What? I don't know what you're talking about. Wait, didn't you send the UN here earlier to see if I was producing weapons of mass destruction earlier?"
Blair: "What?"
Bush: "Don't listen to him, Blair."
Blair: "Okay."
Cheney: "You have 48 hours to get out of Iraq with your sons 'n stuff or we're going to invade you."
Hussein: "Fuck you! I'm staying here because I don't have shit!"
Bush: "You're funeral." -Bush walks outside, addresses public- "Okay, America, we're invading Iraq, cause they have WMDs."
Smart Americans: -dancing around and cheering, drinking and singing comes to an abrupt end- "...huh?"
Dumb Americans: "FUCK YEAR!"
Smart Americans: "But that doesn't make any sense!"
Dumb Americans: "WE GONNA INVADE DEM IRAQ AND KILL DEM TERRORISTS FER ATTACKIN THE GREATEST NATION IN THE WORLD-- UH-MERR-I-KUHHHH!!!"
Smart Americans: "Don't you people realize that these people aren't the target?"
Dumb Americans: "DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU'RE NOT WITH US YER AGAINST US WITH THE TERRORISTS? YER A DAMB COMMIE NAZI TERRORIST MUSLUM! YOU PROBABLY HELPED WITH 9/11!"
Smart Americans: -facepalm- "Fuck."
-48 hours pass, the Death Star flies over Baghdad and zaps the living fuck out of everything-
Bush: "AHHAAHHHH, MOTHERFUCKERS! I'LL SHOW MY DADDY THAT I HAVE A BIGGER PENIS THAN HIM!"
-Iraqi citizens run around screaming-
Hussein: "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" -hides in hole-
Bush: "Nah-ah-ah! No you don't!" -pulls Hussein out of hole-
-United States soldiers run around screaming war cries and blasting the shit out of everything. After a few moments, they all stop and look around at each other cluelessly.-
Soldiers: "Hey, wait. Where are the WMDs?"
Smart Americans & Britains: "YOU FUCKING RETARDS!"
Bush: -looks around innocently- "Well, uh...." -puts giant sign up "Mission Accomplished"- "Mission Accomplished, guys!"
Dumb Americans: "FUCK YEAR!"
The Rest of the World: "We hate Americans now. They're stupid as hell."
Dumb Americans: "Yeh? WELL, FUCK YOU, DAMN TERRORISTS. WE'RE NOT CALLING FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES ANYMORE OUT OF SPITE. WE'RE CALLING THEM FREEDOM FRIES."
Smart Americans and Britains: "So, where are our WMDs, Bush and Cheney?"
Bush: -shrugs- "I dunno. I'm pretty sure they had them."
Smart Americans and Britains: "Didn't you send the UN in to check?"
Blair: "You guys actually did send the UN in to check?"
Cheney: "Shut the fuck up, Blair."
Bush: "Well, we eliminated the world of a major threat. Aren't you asses happy? P.S. We're gonna have to have our troops sit around in Iraq for a few years while we rebuild it's government and install a democracy."
United States Soldiers: "Wait? What?"
Britain Soldiers: "What the fuck!"
Bush: -nervous laughter- "Yep! Well, uh... I'm off now. -runs away to white house and locks himself in his room-
US and British Soldiers: "FUCKING GOD DAMN IT!"
Taliban in Afghanistan: "Wheee! Iraq is left without a government! Perfect opportunity to install our operations there too!" -does that-
US and British Soldiers: "What? Why couldn't we have just stayed in Afghanistan!"
The World: "America the Retarded."
Stupid Americans: "FUCK YEAR! FIGHTIN' TERRORISTS! Boy, it's getting kinda chilly here. Hey, look! Rain! Ah, how peaceful the rain is. Boy, its getting really windy too. Hey, wait a minuet! HOLY SHIT!"
Hurricane Katrina: "OH HEY NEW ORLEANS WHAT'S GOING ON?" -destroys New Orleans-
New Orleans: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
All of America: -knocks on Bush's door- "Hey, Mr. President, New Orleans needs help."
-Bush is playing D&D with Cheney- "Yeah, give me a second. I need to save Dick from this troll."
All of America: "People are dying!"
Bush: "Just give me like.. five minutes okay."
US and British Soldiers in Iraq: "This sucks."
Hussein: -In a noose, about to be hanged- "You're all retarded." -gets hung-
-Presidential rating drop to an all-time low-
The World: "America still sucks. There's no hope for that country now."
-A mysterious figure steps in- Obama: "Somebody call me?"

Another way of saying 'mistake.'

Started on March 20, 2003 when a coalition invaded believing Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. This turned out to be false and was used to scare everyone for oil making Bush and his corporate buddies richer. Now, coalition forces (what's left of them) continue to deal with an insurgency that is still hiding in Iraq.

See also Vietnam

Gaming. When a fighting game becomes such a mess that you can't do anything except fire randomly and hope for the best.
Named for to the complete mess that British and American forces made when they invaded Iraq in 2003.

1) A misguided horribly run war, based on false pretenses
2) A start of a conversation for misinformed or non-informed idiots to rant about how the war was or was not justified
3) Deciding factor in '04 election
4) A conversation starter for Democrats to complain about how we should pull out of the war even though it was a mistake to start it but we cant pull out now,BECAUSE how the fuck would you feel if a government blew down your house and killed one of your family members, in order to take saddam out of power and then said "bye-bye" and left you to pick up the pieces