Iron Ranger

A person indigenous to Northeastern Minnesota. These are a special breed of persons. Some extract iron ore from frozen rocky ground regardless of time or season. They cut holes in the ice and fish defiantly in the face of winter, and drink enormous amounts of beer because the drinking water is rust-colored and smells like dead fish. They are unsurpassed in their winter driving skills because the roadways are only ice-free 3 or 4 months out of the year. If you see one driving badly, they are doing it on purpose to annoy you because they don't personally know you or your Grandmother. School is almost NEVER canceled. In this place you can pump your gas FIRST, THEN go pay for it if you choose. Dishonesty on "The Range" typically ends in being treated like a deer or fish- in season of course. In the summer, the mosquitos are big enough to abduct a small child or steal your wallet. You will see people wearing t-shirts when there is still snow on the ground.
You can hitch-hike here and actually get picked up. Snow-shoveling, firewood, pine trees, porketta, deer sausage and Hockey as far as the eye can see (in a blizzard).

Anyone who lives in the far northern part of Minnesota, usually those who live near the mines or in the perpetual forests. Typically, one who lives on the Iron Range. We talk fast and have a small variety of vocabulary. "Eh" and "aye" are common uses of speech most use. Some of these people can be extremely dumb and careless. Driving skills of these people are dangerous as well.

Nipasupus Grandus Arizonica, the "The Iron Ranger" remains at a fixed location in a park and collects money. Iron Rangers are often found near park offices, or mobile offices.