I suck at life
I'm bad at everything.
Them: "You're late!"
You: "I'm sorry... I suck at life."
You: "I'm sorry... I suck at life."
I suck at life syndrome
Generally someone who absolutely sucks at life, and likes to stay inside for they are not allowed outside because otherwise they die due to an immune system failure, which also causes a nasal like voice quality.
Only one known example of I suck at life syndrome...