Jackaconda
In memory of JackL's anaconda. A freakishly large male sex organ. Notorious across much of the east coast of the United States. Has even been known to be turned down by pornstars. When "just the tip" is the only thing you will ever know.
If you have been blessed with a Jackaconda, your only chance of ever getting laid is to carry a set of eppiderals in your pocket.