Jesster

A being who usually has very small hands (often sweaty) and a quite high pitched voice (often quite like like mickey mouse on crack-cocaine, or towlie from the hit tv series South Park). She has a leech like quality of often grabbing onto attractive men. It also has a habit of watching TV from an angle and flaring her nostrils as she breaths through them. It also pronounces its "w" sounds in that oh-so annoying manner of sounding like they have a stick up their bum all the time and love the smell of their own farts, often putting a "who" before the word attempting to pronounce (Ex. Whoowhat). It often has what is known as a "donk" or large posterior, which it uses in order to attract the opposite sex. Sadly, if it were not for this redeeming quality, it might not even survive in the wild at all. Little else is known about this quite interesting, yet awkward creature, but as technology is advancing we hope to soon learn more about this being.

(note: closely related to the notorious Captain Cunningham)