Jivesh

THIS BOY HAS SUCH NICE EYES AND HE PROLLY PLAYS FORT ON PC
he's chill and will be there for u

HES SO FUCKING DIRTY MINDED BUT THATS OK- :D

This name has only ever been found in an ancient Sumerian clay tablet, or at least we think it was this. Quite a bit of blood had congealed on the tablet, and it looked like someone had tried to burn it. Mind you, the blood would normally be quite unsightly in and of itself but some poor bugger seemed to have been tied to an obsidian sacrificial stone with the tablet on his chest, and we only found this stone in a sealed chamber. Current translations of the plaque on the chamber range from "Here lies the name of that being who shall be glorious beyond measure, but be careful for the glory of the name may be too much for the beholder." to "Your wife is a big respectful hippo whose dung-beetles may rule with ever-lasting flatulence", depending on subjective opinions of slight accents on the script. Personally, I find the second one rather doubtful if only because my wife isn't particularly big relative to the population mean (although in America, that's not saying much)."

literally means "Lord of all living things" (in Sanskrit)
Expected that those carrying this name live up to this definition.
However, having multiple lords of living things is strange and problematic. There can only be one. If you're reading this as your name, and you know you didn't write it - be concerned for your safety. As we should all be. 🙂