Jizz'll fix it
A therapeutic session of self-enjoyment/masturbation, designed to relieve the stresses of a hard day at work. Normally enjoyed last thing at night to aid sleep. The cry "Now then now then, what 'ave we got 'ere then" on the vinegar strokes is for expert self-lovers only.
Crispin had lost twenty mill backing the wrong stocks on the market and was facing the internal auditors over an allegation of laundering money. Lying alone in bed that night he didn't know what to do. "I bet jizz'll fix it" he thought before whacking one out and drifting into a deep relaxing slumber.