Judas Dump

While on a date, you are overcome with intense diarrheal pain and are forced to excuse yourself from the table. Being gone for more than the standard 3 minute urination time period, you accept that your date has realized you are taking a shit so you take your sweet ass time. You then come back to the table only to find an empty chair, a half eaten tuna tartare and an unpaid bill. Your asscheeks are still greasy and your night is ruined.