Judgenoculars
An apparatus used to pass judgement on passersby based on their appearance, expression, or swirling rumors. Also used in meetings to evaluate the worth of someone's comments. Focusing in on the details that reveal someone's intentions or evidence of misguided behavior. The use of which is recounted later by gesturing with circling hand motions around the eyes. Can be put away for later use by simply keeping on your invisible croakies.
I was sure to take out my judgenoculars when I spotted a poor graduate student being plucked away from his desk by the dean with the hiked up skirt. I focused in on the sultry expression on her face and his eager look of intrigue.