katima

Katima is an amazing, beautiful, loyal girl. She will always be there when you need her, and will always know the right thing to say. She lightens up a room when she was in, and is always the life of the party. Everyone needs Katima.

Little-known pseudo-religious organization based in the Namibian town of Katima Mulilo, where the organization's beliefs are said to hold sway over the locals too frightened to challenge its precepts.

According to myth, the cult bases its doctrine on the teachings of Giordano Bruno, the wandering 16th century Italian philosopher. Many are familiar with Bruno's travels to the far reaches of Europe, including France and Britain, but few are aware of the importance of Bruno's journey up the lush Zambezi River.

It was during this trip that Bruno formulated the ideas underlying his earliest works "De Umbras Idearum" (The Shadows of Ideas) and "Ars Mernoriae" (The Art of Memory). The central proposition of these books was that ideas are only the shadows of truth, a proposal that, when it's logical implications were fully realized, would lead to Bruno's being burned at the stake in 1600.

The Cult of Katima Mulilo's most cherished document, however, is Bruno's treatise "Cábala del Garañón como Pegaso con la Adición del Asno de Cilene" (Cabala of the Steed like unto Pegasus with the Addition of the Ass of Cyllene). This work deals with the pretensions of superstition through the allegory of the "ass", a figure to be found everywhere, not only in the church but in governments and colleges and particularly on the internet.

The members of the Cult of Katima Mulilo are rumored to have the numeral "152" tattooed on there lower necks. The significance of this number appears to come from the list of 219 heresies compiled under Pope John XXI in the 13th century. Heresy #152 was the view that theology is based on fables.

Unrest in the Caprivi Area is also attributed to the Cult of Katima Mulilo, where calls for an independent state (which have led to frequent border skirmishes involving Namibia, Botswana and Zambia) are supposedly sourced in the order's doctrines.

One of the most persistent rumors involving the Cult of Katima Mulilo centers around the basketball camp hidden in the Mahango Game Reserve, not far from the Popa Falls. Here, the Knights of Pfftt are said to use the teachings of the Cult of Katima Mulilo in their training of solid post-players, although currently it is unclear whether this is just fable.

A Duo that will knock you out

When you wake up you’ll be tasting the spicy wings you ate earlier that day and remember how spicy they were.. when you wake up your first words will be “damn those wings were hot !”