Kegelrobbe
Allthough beeing the name of an ugly ass animal, it is rarely used in germany as a name for people who mean the world to you.
Markus: Hey my Kegelrobbe, how was your day?
Lydia: You are a fucking weirdo, I am leaving you
Markus: Yeah I would not love me either
Lydia: You are a fucking weirdo, I am leaving you
Markus: Yeah I would not love me either