Kiltophobia
The fear of walking past a Scotsman on a windy day and their kilt blowing up to reveal a penis so infected it makes the blue waffle look edible.
Donald: It's a wee bit windy M'dear, I think you need to trim your beaver. It looks like the Jackson five's peaking out from under your skirt!
Fanny: Your small yeast infected mushroom is scaring my auntie, she has Kiltophobia remember?
Donald: Aye, but she can't see it if it's in her mouth.
Fanny: Your small yeast infected mushroom is scaring my auntie, she has Kiltophobia remember?
Donald: Aye, but she can't see it if it's in her mouth.