Kyoobin
A man of cuban ancestry who is now horribly pussywhipped and has decided to kill me for some reason. Lewis Black once did a joke on the dumbest thing he's ever heard and how it would cause an aneurysm, leading to his death. Kyoobin was inspired and has since then done the dumbest things possible. Dirty wanker figured out the perfect crime.
Kyoobin's got a nice old car, but his girlfriend won't let him go driving with his friends.