Laminar flow
When you suspect that you have diarrhea and your suspicions turn out to be correct, however, once you release it turns out to be rather soothing! You get instant relief, no pellet-gun-like velocity, not much upward splattering, and to your pleasant surprise, very little toilet paper consumption to clean up. More oily grease than shit. The only downside is that it smells like a combination of penicillin and methane, with a hint of wide-open ass. Flushes clean. Very little evidence that anything remarkable took place in the airport stalls. Leaves you wondering if that was, indeed, the highlight of your month so far. It is the simple things in life.
Jesus Christ, for all the noise I heard 5-mins ago from my corner office, adjacent to the women’s restroom, Darcy must have had laminar flow. I can only smell air freshener and Z-Pack. All clear! Y’all can come in and pee. (Many of the office girls were drinking vodka at lunch, thus the pent-up demand).