lappy chocolate
When your lover sits on the toilet to use it and you can't be bothered to wait, so you initiate the intimate act of a lappy chocolate, by sitting on their lap and taking a massive shit. It may or may not make it through their legs and into the pan (whatever floats your boat).
Shaz was on the toilet last night for a wee before bed and I couldn't be arsed to wait for her to finished so I just gave her a lappy chocolate and went to bed first.