Lardass Tiddlywink
Lardass Tiddlywink is a big tub of goo located in the windy city, Chicago. Oddly enough Chicago only becomes windy after Lardass (pronounced LarDOSS) consumes a couple of bacon, Lexapro, peanut butter, and cheese whiz sandwiches. Lardass currently resides with mother, 13 cats, an “Iron Man” action figure, and an imaginary friend “Peter”. Commonly mistaken for a homosexual, Lardass is actually an a-sexual hermaphrodite who is about as anatomically correct as a “Ken Doll“. Lardass is a connoisseur of rare comic books however, none of which retain any value as “Mint Condition” oddly enough excludes bacon grease and semen.
Lady “Hey Lardass Tiddlywink, I will give you a bacon grease hand job for 20 bucks.” Lardass, “Not now mom, I’m off to Comi-Con, unless you can front me 20 bucks.”