La-Z-Boy
To put a lubricant such as lotion in a plastic bag, and put your wang in there, and "fuck the couch"
Jerry pulled a La-Z-Boy because he couldn't ever find a date.
La-Z-boy ferret crunch
The #1 cause of premature death for ferrets.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
HUSBAND: Hey, honey, have you seen Freddy the ferret?
WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.
HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.
(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)
HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...
OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.
WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.
HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.
(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)
HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...
OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.