Lehigh Valley

The third-largest metropolitan in the state of Pennsylvania, as it is known by non-Lehigh Valley residents. It consists of the cities of Allentown, Bethlehem, and Easton located in Lehigh and Northampton counties. Scrape off the gloss and it is in fact a TIME WARP. It is a place where conservative, WASPY middle-aged residents inhabit as well as younger parents with children go to raise families and clog the roads with their horrendous driving skills. The area has gained attention in recent years, as evidenced by a new casino in Bethlehem and the Promenade Shops at Saucon Valley. Yet in spite of these progressive improvements, people here are stuck in the 1950's and firmly resist change. Perhaps thats due to the fact that there are so many old people as well as gun-loving, pickup-driving hicks who think that the Gap is upscale shopping. The speed limits are set far to low as way of accommodating the slow drivers who can't merge to save their lives. Travel guides and tourism agencies boast its "proximity" to Philadelphia and New York City however there is no meaningful connection to either of those places whatsoever. The Lehigh Valley disguises itself as a peaceful middle ground between the more expensive metropolitan areas found to its south and east, when really it is just like any other decaying, Rust Belt place in Pennsylvania. People who choose to live here think that the "Valley" is the best place on earth. Don't buy into it. Move somewhere else.

The third-largest metropolitan in the state of Pennsylvania, as it is known by non-Lehigh Valley residents. It consists of the cities of Allentown, Bethlehem, and Easton located in Lehigh and Northampton counties. Scrape off the gloss and it is in fact a TIME WARP. It is a place where conservative, WASPY middle-aged residents inhabit as well as younger parents with children go to raise families and clog the roads with their horrendous driving skills. The area has gained attention in recent years, as evidenced by a new casino in Bethlehem and the Promenade Shops at Saucon Valley. Yet in spite of these progressive improvements, people here are stuck in the 1950's and firmly resist change. Perhaps thats due to the fact that there are so many old people as well as gun-loving, pickup-driving hicks who think that the Gap is upscale shopping. The speed limits are set far to low as way of accommodating the slow drivers who can't merge to save their lives. Travel guides and tourism agencies boast its "proximity" to Philadelphia and New York City however there is no meaningful connection to either of those places whatsoever. The Lehigh Valley disguises itself as a peaceful middle ground between the more expensive metropolitan areas found to its south and east, when really it is just like any other decaying, Rust Belt place in Pennsylvania. People who choose to live here think that the "Valley" is the best place on earth. Don't buy into it. Move somewhere else.

Once a beautiful area to live, that's rich in history, with places like Bethlehem Steel to its name.

HOWEVER, a place that is being infested with inconsiderate people from new york and new jersey... yuppies and wanna-be yuppies, who think that their crap doesn't stink. Infested with people who critisize and mock the NATIVES of this area.... calling us hicks and saying we live in a time-warp. This is the TRUTH: The natives of the Lehigh Valley have roots in this area that go back generations. If you don't understand or appreciate the people that were here FIRST, just keep your mouth shut. If you can't keep your mouth shut, move back to NY or NJ. Oh, but that's right... you moved here because of cheaper houses, since you couldn't make it back where you came from.

As for the NYers/ NJers that don't mock the beautiful Lehigh Valley... we love you.

Whilst receiving a standing rimjob from a carwash attendant, you begin vigorously gargling previously collected homeless person diarrhea. The act is completed when 5 pieces of corn from said diarrhea gargle fall out of your mouth and land on any part of the rimjob giver's body, causing him to violently projectile vomit straight up your asshole.

Is one of the most ridiculous schools on the planet. Kids are entranced to go there with fanciful promises of a better diploma when the DP Diploma is slightly less transferable than the AP. If you're going to go to community college anyway don't bother going to a place with the same types of rowdy kids but no forms of fashion. LVA is uniform city with a mean-mouthed/underpaid staff to boot. After a year --- no a month, you will want to transfer.