lemeard

Lemeard is also known as Leaky, because of his constant fear that the enemy will be able to see through his smoke screens. And this is why:
"I want all my mortars to fire at the same time!"
"What?"
"All of them! I don't want anything left between me and the enemy!"
"But sir..."
"Do it now."
"Yes sir!"
And they did so. The enemy couldn't see through their smokescreen. And they were hit by the barrage. By the hundreds.
Somehow... Lemeard survived.
His troops, on the other hand, lost almost half their battalion's strength. Even though they fired at an area where there weren't many soldiers.
"It doesn't matter if we lose men," said Lemeard. "They are just dead weight anyway."
The next day he ordered mortar rounds to be filled with explosive powder. And even though the shells were filled with enough explosives to take out a whole village, not one single round missed its target. Not a single soldier escaped alive from the bombardment.

A person who is exceptionally adept at being clueless about what is happening around them. More often than not, a lemeard will respond in such a way that no one around him or her understands what the lemeard is trying to say. Because they have such a hard time interacting at social gatherings, they are often misconstrued as being very boring, although fun to laugh at, people and are called lameards to accentuate their overall lameness.