Ass lobster

An unknown object that protrudes from the rectum of female law blog editors, often resembling a lobster's claw.

Shrimp. As defined by the character Tom Haverford on the NBC television show "Parks and Recreation."

The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.

The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.

This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.