as sober as a cow
A saying said by drunk people from Wisconsin in order to make others believe they are sober
"Somebody's drunk"
"Pshh, no I'm not. I'm as sober as a cow!"
"Only a drunk person would say that...drunk ass"
"Pshh, no I'm not. I'm as sober as a cow!"
"Only a drunk person would say that...drunk ass"