assplain
gender-free, verbose, condescending explanation that was not asked for nor needed. Typically patronizing and incorrect.
Jeff: So I watered the lawn and plants last night and...
Chad: Did you remember to put in the electrolytes and do it from the top down? From the top down. Add those electrolytes. If you don't do it right the grass grows in sideways and won't seed properly. Not to mention they'll no longer use the sun for photosynthesis.
Jeff: Dude - Why did you assplain this to me?
Chad: Did you remember to put in the electrolytes and do it from the top down? From the top down. Add those electrolytes. If you don't do it right the grass grows in sideways and won't seed properly. Not to mention they'll no longer use the sun for photosynthesis.
Jeff: Dude - Why did you assplain this to me?
assplain
When you have to explain something that is complicated and a huge pain in the ass.
Accidently got my girlfriend pregnant. Can't wait to assplain this to my wife.
Assplaining
1. When a "well-meaning" asshole of any gender bestows unsolicted and obvious (or obviously stupid) advice.
2. A caring act of condescension.
2. A caring act of condescension.
Elder: You know, if you stopped going to Starbucks, you could pay off your student loans.
Junior: I don't need you assplaining debt management to me.
Junior: I don't need you assplaining debt management to me.
assplaining
What a wife or girlfriend does when her husband comes home from work. Including feeding him dinner, spreading her ass, and putting the children to bed.
Something every good wife does.
Something every good wife does.
My friend asked me where my wife is.
I said "She's assplaining".
I said "She's assplaining".