loafism

Loafism:

(one who practices Loafism shall be called a Loafismer)

You may ask, how does one become a Loafismer? Well, an angel has this to say upon the very subject: "At worship services new members may be initiated into Loafism, if found acceptable." there are no other requirements because we don't need a better reason.

A set of beliefs one can follow, but you really don't have to, these are purely suggestions.

Loafism and the Individual:

A List of commandments:

-Thou shall worship ska, the holiest form of prayer
-Thou shall play more than one musical instrument
-Thou shall worship thine holiest form of transport, the Loafmobile (hazard lights and windshield wipers are not optional and driving forwards or using the gear symbolized by a number or the letter "D" is also generally frowned upon, seatbelts required or you may become the target of shoefu, explained later)
-Thou shalt not underestimate the awesome power of sleep
-Thou shalt not perform chores, or appear to find solace in chores
-Thou Shalt not enjoy homework.... ever!

If you fail to heed these

You may end up getting yourself "Loafed"

Loafed: to be punched suddenly for an insult and or any form of disrespect. Unless the offense annoys the crap out of a fellow Loafismer, then the ritual of ShoeFu ensues, but one can forgo protocol and just skip Loafing, because there really isn't a protocol!

ShoeFu: "The national sport of Loafism which is practiced throughout most worship sessions. This competition takes place whenever a believer may get on another’s nerve, or may be practiced purely for amusement. The act of ShoeFu is accomplished by removing one’s own foot apparel and bludgeoning another fellow Loafismer."