Aston’s Biggest

Aston’s biggest is quite literally 3.7 tonnes, they not only suffer from chronic obesity but they also suffer from the addiction to discord. Aston’s Biggest could mistake his own fingers for food, as he craves food more than he craves cock, and that is a lot as he is relentless with his desire to rape his own friends. He is 3.7 tonne, which creates more problems than the fact he cannot see his own cock. The “biggest” problem is that he cannot seem to leave his xbox for longer than 3 hours, as the gallons of sweat stick him to his chair for inhuman amounts of time. This leads to issues such as pungent B.O, and greasy, dandruff riddled hair. Due to these obstacles, Aston’s Biggest lack’s interactions with girls. He was rejected by them all, leading to him becoming so down bad he pretended about kissing a drunk girl. He is so heavy, if he was on the submarine he would of survived due to the immense cushioning of his major organs, however his arteries probably only have a few years remaining before they are clogged with 10,000 calories per hour’s worth of fat. The Aston’s biggest is more than likely going to die a virgin, but he got to elite division on fifa so who cares?