Asymptote
Asymptote is basically the friendzone. You're really close but you can never touch.
Sorry, but you are just an Asymptote. Asympzone!
Asymptote
A line that approaches a function's graph more and more closely, but never touches it. Asymptote are the limits of a graph.
HOLY SHIFT! LOOK AT THE ASYMPTOTE ON THAT MOTHER FUNCTION!
Asymptote
An asymptote is a person who you get closer and closer to you but never touches you.
Derived from the term in analytic geometry.
Derived from the term in analytic geometry.
Roo Roo came over last night and had her in the bed for ages and got absolutely nothing. She's such an asymptote.
Asymptoting
In mathematics, an asymptote is a line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance. In other words, though it curves towards zero, it approaches it indefinitely and never actually reaches it.
Asymptoting describes the phenomenon in which despite the regular passage of time, your relative perception of time appears to slow as you get closer to an event, date, time, etc. Because the line never reaches zero, but travels towards it for infinity, you too feel as if you will infinitely travel towards something that you will never reach. Much like the phenomenon of running towards a door in a dream, but never quite reaching it even though you are covering ground.
Asymptoting describes the phenomenon in which despite the regular passage of time, your relative perception of time appears to slow as you get closer to an event, date, time, etc. Because the line never reaches zero, but travels towards it for infinity, you too feel as if you will infinitely travel towards something that you will never reach. Much like the phenomenon of running towards a door in a dream, but never quite reaching it even though you are covering ground.
Rocko couldn't believe his luck! He had just won an all-expenses paid trip to visit Paris, where he could finally meet the girl of his dreams, Claudette! The only problem was that the trip was a whole month away! Poor Rocko. He was so excited to go, that one month felt like six. Time dragged on. Rocko was asymptoting. HARD.
"Why is this year asymptoting?!" Filburt lamented. "I can't wait for it to be over! Oh fishsticks!"
Heffer hated weekly team meetings at the Chokey Chicken. "I'm getting hungry!" Heffer thought to himself. "Surely thirty minutes must have passed." He looked at the clock. To his dismay, only six minutes had gone by. Heffer heard his stomach growl. "Even my stomach is asymptoting!" he thought.
Ed Bighead dutifully went to work every day, dreaming of a day in which he could finally get "the big office." In his younger days, Ed felt a sense of accomplishment with his work at Conglom-O. But now that Ed was pushing 55, he instead felt himself asymptoting; working endlessly towards a goal he would never meet.
.
"Why is this year asymptoting?!" Filburt lamented. "I can't wait for it to be over! Oh fishsticks!"
Heffer hated weekly team meetings at the Chokey Chicken. "I'm getting hungry!" Heffer thought to himself. "Surely thirty minutes must have passed." He looked at the clock. To his dismay, only six minutes had gone by. Heffer heard his stomach growl. "Even my stomach is asymptoting!" he thought.
Ed Bighead dutifully went to work every day, dreaming of a day in which he could finally get "the big office." In his younger days, Ed felt a sense of accomplishment with his work at Conglom-O. But now that Ed was pushing 55, he instead felt himself asymptoting; working endlessly towards a goal he would never meet.
.
asymptote
-noun: a guy/girl that has a crush on someone and shows it but never does anything about it, just keeps his/her distance.
That guy is an asymptote because he likes me yet never intends to ask me on a date.
asymptote
A straight line that is the limiting value of a curve. It can have many different equations and is the most important factor in curve sketches and other similar mathematical sectors.
The 4th order polynomial approaches the asymptote at y = x on the cartesian number plane.
The Asymptote
The asymptote is a sexual maneuver wherein the object is to get as close to the vagina/anus without actually entering.
It is a difficult position, though, as approaching the event horizon may result in prejaculation.
It is a difficult position, though, as approaching the event horizon may result in prejaculation.
The easiest way to preform the asymptote is to, every few seconds or so (depending on how quickly you want to approach), move the tip of the penis half the remaining distance closer.