aubesian
"There is a device <centaurs> use <to wipe themselves in the bathroom>, it's called an aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth." --Saturday Night Live, "Centaur Job Interview," 5/19/01
Cheiron, do you want to go with me to Aubesians & Such? There's one on 57th Street.