Mario Man

Mario Man is the scariest Mario cart player alive!!! He goes very flast in Mario cart 8, so you should be scared!!!!! Look out, when you get knocked off the tract during a race; it was most likely Mario Man!!!!!! He is not to be mistaken as Mario, because he is Mario MAN. He attended Yale University, and currently lives in Alabama building cars and racing! He also is in a serious relationship with his cousin Darcey!! They are getting in June of 2021!!!

The best work of literature ever. The author chose his words carefully to create such a masterpiece. Words like "Turts" "Turty" and, of course, "Perchance" only help the writer prove his point.

Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mystical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance.

I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-a go!" Keep it up, baby!

When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero,but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.