Pit Master

When you're banging your girl bare back, while she's eating an apple, you pull out and lather her back with your natural sauce.

A pit with a magic barrier/ force field making it impossible to teleport in or out of, or use magic inside of. The only person able to teleport in or out is MASTER. The pit is 3957 miles deep (1 mile from the earths core). This pit can only be controlled by MASTER. It can fill with lava and kill whoever is inside, or water for a refreshing hot tub. The only way to enter is to ask MASTER. Then the only way to survive the fall is to dive head first. The pit also doubles as a bunker and weapons facility. No weapons are permitted unless MASTER says so.