Meaturbating
The act of consuming any type of meat without the knowledge or permission of your Vegan/Vegetarian significant other who has either forced you or convinced you to comply with his or her dietary beliefa. The act of Meaturbation can bring on waves of guilt and typically results in efforts to reform oneself to please your controlling and almost omnipresent spouse. Who at a minimum is an enthusiastic believer and at a maximum an unhinged zealot
I saw my good friend Meaturbating during lunch yesterday. And while he seemed to be enjoying himself, it was clear that he felt ashamed as well.